Look at Me Ma, I'm Addicted
Amphetamines (Adderall)
by Deev
I first tried Adderall when I was in 7th grade. It was prescribed to me, they thought I had slight ADD, because I pretended too, so I could have an excuse for not doing well in school (I was just lazy). Even then I loved taking it, and I would often take extra pills. I never realized that I was getting my self addicted, and then I was no different than any other habitual drug user. In the middle of 8th grade they took me of it, and I remember feeling so sick and depressed, craving more of those sweet little blue pills.
Six months ago, Adderall has entered to my life again. The first half of school year, I had mono. I often was too sick and tired to go to school, and my grades were slipping, and this was very upsetting because I had been maintaining a B+ average, which for me was great. To try to combat this I started, taking caffine pills. I quickly became addicted and was taking as much 1200mg a day. I was suffering jitteriness, and head aches, and I decided to stop taking caffine. I had some withdrawal symptoms, but I made it. Until one day when an, friend of mine, a small time dealer, offered me some Adderall. A flood of pleasant memories flooded back, and a blindly said 'how much'.
For a while was doing ok, because I couldn't get it very easily. Than I found out that one of my best friends was on it, and he has severe ADHD. He would give me two or three 20mg pills when ever I would ask. That is when it got out of control. I took about 40mg a day and life felt great. I felt Adderall put me at the top of my game. I would stay up for days in row, to the point I suffered a severe psychotic episode. It was terrifying! I was finally going to get some sleep, after three nights without sleeping and scarcely eating. It was three in the morning, I just finished an english essay, and layed down to bed, when I suddenly became temporarily insane. Everything seemed to be melting and morphing and I has terrified. I had to spend the rest night with my father, who was trying to calm me down. (I think he thought I had taken LSD, because he knows I do drugs, and I guess that is what I was acting like, but I never have.) I went on doing Adderall, when I could get it, I even snorted it, promising myself, that I would never do it again, that it was a one time thing, it wasn't.
Two of days ago my good friend who I mentioned, came to smoke with me, he didn't have any cash so he brought me 7 Adderalls. Around 1:30 tonight I snorted one. I read other people experiences with addiction to Adderall, for some of the experiences I felt like I was reading a story about me with different details, and for others I saw what will happen if I keep going like this. That scared me. I had never admitted to myself I was addicted. This may of been, a bad choice but I wanted to get rid of the rest of it, so I ate the remaining 4 20mg pills. I don't think I’m ever going to touch a stimulent again, not even a cup of coffee. I’m sick, constantly replacing sleep, food, and my true personality with a chemical. From now on I am not going to do drugs that have such a high addictive potential, or drugs that lend themselves to being used often. I am now going to stick with cannabis, and psycidelics.
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