Everybody's Favorite Crutch
Caffeine
by mapk33
I have been a regular coffee drinker since the age of 12 (I'm now almost 22). The habit started innocuously; I would have a cup every morning before going off to middle school. Within a year, I was drinking another cup in the afternoon. By high school, I was drinking two or three cups a day. I would quit intermittently and feel pretty good (much better than when I was using caffeine regularly). For various reasons, though, I would keep going back to it.
In the first two years of college I bounced between coffee and tea drinking; I would normally drink four cups of coffee and a coke or up to ten cups of tea every day. For even more energy during finals (and sometimes during other stressful times) I would combine this with Vivarin or with diet pills containing ephedrine.
Within the past year I've experienced an incredible amount of anxiety, possibly as a consequence of this heavy use. To alleviate this, I've often consumed too much alcohol. Along with the alcohol, I would use tobacco products (to which I quickly became addicted). During periods of great stress, my heart would pound and I would feel a stabbing pain at the base of my neck. Needless to say, I was poisoning myself. I realized that to stop one threat to my health I would have to stop them all.
I've recently quit everything all together and, to be honest, can't guarantee that this attempt will be successful. I quit coffee 'cold turkey' three days ago; now I'm waiting for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. A testament to the level of my addiction is that I am now incredibly lethargic, with pounding headaches and bouts of nausea. Waves of depression sweep over me. I let myself have a candy bar or a coke, and that helps a little. Subtle signs (no anxiety, a general feeling of well-being in between the withdrawal symptoms) indicate that things will improve and that I've made the right choice.
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